For Nadia

When Zillah said that Nadia had been hurt-that her baby had been taken from her like that-I don't think I've ever been so angry. I couldn't even bear to see her the first few weeks. Sometimes I could hear her crying, moaning through the warehouse door; Zillah would exit empty handed and then return, carrying bottles of laudanum, most times without a word. But when he did, you could tell he was high. What did I care?

He had his way of dealing with the guilt-for not being there.

I want to blame him, to have Sparky burn a hole in his chest, or order Epemetheus rip his pasty arms from his sockets, but how could I when Imri only a few hours before I learned about Nadia paraded in front of me(cock-of-the-fucking-walk) and danced with Maharet. No. I have just as much to blame.

I joined with Lex out of necessity. Nadia needs protection. Moris, Zillah, me: alone we weren't enough to keep these demons from attacking, but unified, we can wipe them from existence.

For now I'm on guard duty, and doing my best to make sure they keep away. It leaves a lot of time for thinking, and reading: the Index seems just as interested in this turn of events; it’s provided a few texts on demonology and proper dissection of an infernal. For once our motivations are unified.

Once Nadia’s on her feet, it’ll be time to get to work.